Dear Tabby is written by Tabs the Cat, frequently regarded as “the world’s first plus-size kitty supermodel.” founded in mid 2012, it has rapidly become the most widely syndicated cat guidance column on earth — known for its fresh, feline perspective on lifestyle, fashion and style issues affecting cats and humans.
Justifiably jealous?
DEAR TABBY: While enjoying animal planet on the couch with my assistant last night, I caught a look of what looked like a fluffy tail on the screen of her company-issued iPad.
My assistant, Pam, appearing to notice my sidelong glance, pivoted the screen away from me, at which point I feigned disinterest by intensely grooming my inner thigh (you know how it is).
ANNUNCIO
When Pam got up from the couch to prepare my afternoon snackies, I swiped my paw across the iPad’s screen, entered the code to unlock it and saw what she’d been reading — a canine adoption site for our town’s local shelter.
Quite frankly, Tabby, I was shocked and dismayed. despite being a shelter kitty myself, I very clearly told Pam when I hired her that I required her undivided attention. I specifically told her that I needed an assistant who could commit to one cat.
This is challenging because Pam has been an exceptional assistant, and I’ve been very pleased with our arrangement. When I confronted her about it, she laughed and handed me a treat.
ANNUNCIO
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A treat!
Tabby, I’m trying to be sensible here, but whenever I think of Pam considering other employers, I fly into a jealous rage. Am I overreacting?
— Diva in Detroit
DEAR DIVA: I understand your concern. I enforce a similar arrangement with my assistant.
But consider this: has Pam always tended to your needs? has she gone above and beyond the call of duty? If so, then possibly she was merely web surfing.
Haven’t you ever looked at things you didn’t intend to bring home? window shopping? I can’t tell you how numerous hours I’ve spent browsing the Chanel website, filling my cart with Chanel-branded cat towers and toys, knowing full well that I wouldn’t be making a purchase that day.
I monitor my assistant’s Internet usage and have caught her checking out cat adoption sites several times. When it happens, I climb upon her chest, rev up the purr machine, and show her who’s boss.
Now, I can’t speak for Pam, but you may want to postpone taking any disciplinary action, for now. refrain from making a knee-jerk decision. Be vigilant, but I would bet a bag of Feline Greenies that you’re going to be just fine.
Is middle age too late for a profession change?
DEAR TABBY: I am an 8-year-old cat considering a mid-life profession change.
I’ve worked safety and security all my life, but now I’m thinking of chasing my dreams of becoming America’s next top Kitty Model.
I’m not scared of crowds and delight in performing. Cosa ne pensi? ought to I opt for it, considering my advanced years?
— senior Superstar in San Diego
DEAR senior SUPERSTAR: Bravo! I applaud your courage and sense of adventure. I think it’s a terrific idea. I suggest attending casting calls in your area to test the waters.
While the mature kitty modeling market is a narrow niche, it’s quite possible to have a successful career. If you don’t try, you’ll never know. Ti auguro buona fortuna!
Privacy please?
DEAR TABBY: My assistant, George, has absolutely no regard for my privacy. He feels the need to share my every activity with all of our acquaintances and company associates, including the members of his book club and his numerous Facebook friends.
George even articles pictures of me on his website, and some are rather embarrassing (like when I’m grooming or taking a nap). in some cases he even tweets!
Whenever I try to speak to him about it, he calls me silly.
I do think that I require much more privacy than other cats, but I don’t think it’s best to tell everyone on the planet when I have tummy troubles! What can I do, Tabby? how do I make this stop?
— private in Petaluma
DEAR PRIVATE: Your assistant may be posting these pictures of you because he’s proud.
I find that’s typically the case, but you still have the best to live a life outside the limelight.
To convey this to George, you could try making yourself less available. hide in closets, boxes and under the bed. I should tell you, though, that hiding can cause a lonely life. I know numerous cats who would love to be so adored and revered by their assistants.
Why can’t they cut it out?
DEAR TABBY: When did cat-kind all of a sudden decide that lion cuts were “stylish”?
I can understand shaving off patches of fur for medical purposes, but to walk around with everything just hanging out like that, except for tiny tufts of fur on your head, your paws and the suggestion of your tail, seems wrong and absurd to me. Please tell the cats of the world toSmettila di radere la loro pelliccia!
– perturbato a Portland
Caro perturbato: mi piace un felino alla moda, e posso vedere perché trovi questo sconvolgente. I tagli del leone possono sembrare un po ‘discutibili su alcuni gatti.
Tuttavia, in alcuni casi funziona! I gatti benedetti con peluche e soffici cappotti possono anche lavorarlo, giusto?
Un feticcio tum?
Caro Tabby: ho incontrato un gatto di recente – un simpatico amico abbastanza – ma la cosa è, mi piace molto il suo tum. Come, davvero, mi piace davvero per qualche motivo.
Si blocca così perfettamente, e il modo in cui oscilla avanti e indietro quando cammina o corta …
Ad ogni modo, amo quanto sia soffice e la forma e tutto.
Ironia della sorte, non ho mai realmente prestato molta attenzione a Tums prima. Solo il suo. Quindi questo conta come un feticcio? Sono strano?
– tum ossessionato a Topeka
ANNUNCIO
Gentile tum Obsessionato: No, non credo di essere strano. Ora, se Tums fosse l’unica cosa che ti è piaciuta dei gatti, allora potresti avere un fetish pancia, ma sembra solo come una cotta. Non andrei ad ordinare quel costume GIMP da Amazon ancora.
I tuoi amichevoli avvincti di fascino del quartiere,
Karen e tabs.